Monday 13 June 2011

Waterscape goes touchy feely.

I do (but only when I am at a loss for anything else) have the occasional trawl through the list of BW Blogers from time to time. It seems to me that the blogsters are currently on something of a charm offensive. Apparently the Waterscape blagging crew have gone all "touchy feely". Touchy feely is defined as being "very sensitive, empathetic and pretentiously compassionate". Its not exactly the sort of thing that BW is famed for.

I find it strange that as a group, the blogers suddenly seem to be giving out little humanist "touchy feely" snippets to their on-line personalities. Yep, i'm convinced its a BW charm offensive. So what is in it for BW you might ask. Being a cynic of longstanding, my thoughts immediately went to the distraction role being played by the "transition to charity status" team. A team that's built a bit like Enid Blyton's "Famous Five meet the Three Stooges".

I think that BW feel that the usual objectors will now have a new team, in their collective sights to aim for. BW might well be hoping for some welcome respite for their beleaguered team.  Riding out the storm on the back of  the "honeymoon period" the transition team will get from the waterways users.

The amount of  flack that BW traditionally get from all quarters, is as a result of their cock-ups that waste our money. Money that is desperately needed to carry out the ever growing list of essential maintenance.

For example. Square bollards, what are they for?

I know and you know that bollards are round. They are this shape so that a rope can be fed around them and allowed to slip easily if needed. Ropes do not slip easily when wrapped round a square bollard. I wonder if someone at BW had seen the information about the highways agency approved square bollards. Bollards that raise out of the ground. Here and thought "now that's a good idea for squandering a few quid".

More info on Granny Buttons  Here and Here and on Waterway Routes Here

But lets get back to the touchy feely blogers.
Damian Kemp Project officer for British Waterways - admitted to "previously having a huge crush on Kylie."
Now I bet the huge crush is on oranges.

Robin Evans British Waterways' chief executive - enjoys reading on his Kindle.
I enjoy reading on a comfortable chair myself.

Robert McLean  is now heard to say "ISO 10239" just a little too often.
Maybe its all to do with the smell of gas.

Odette Williamson  Assistant Web Content Editor of British Waterways "lives with two gerbils."
I bet one is called Kevin.

Nick Worthington  admits that he "Has been around the block a few times!"
I should tip off Jeremy Kyle.

Tony Hales Chairman of British Waterways  "an avid Aston Villa fan."
A good job he is not into football then.

Liz Waddington editor BW Monthly. "Enjoyed her first canal holiday when she was 10."
That's what fishing does for you!

John Bruce Marketing Coordinator "Enjoys nothing more than a competitive game of snap."
I bet he always beats the kid's.

Natalie Bhogal editor of waterscape "is able to spell 'Pontcysyllte' without looking it up."
I can't even pronounce it.

Paul Morgan Waterscape webmaster, wittily declares that he has "a healthy interest in the intertubes and all capabilities around it." Intertubes apparently are a series of tubes that deliver information around the world via computer.

Here is an explanation Courtesy of US Senator Ted Stevens. "The Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material. There's a sweet site on the intertubes that shows photos of cats that look like Hitler!"

This Senator could be writing for BW he's a natural.

To save you the time the Kitler is here.


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