Sunday 4 October 2015

Thomas the Tiny Terrorist

While we were moored up at Oozells Street in Birmingham. I heard a shrill and angry voice wafting across the waterway. 'Thomas, will you come away from the edge, you will fall in the water' implored the voice. Looking out of the window, I can see Thomas is aged about 6 years with his mother trailing some yards behind. The pair were walking along the off side towpath heading into the centre. Thomas is slowly veering towards the edge and then veering away. Each time Thomas goes towards the edge, the voice is calling out to him.  

Suddenly Thomas turns around and starts walking backwards. With a defiant look upon his face, he starts veering to and from the edge. The voice continues to implore him to behave and to look where he is going. Thomas is one of those challenging little bastards, the one that a good old fashioned smack would go some way towards helping him to 'adjust' his somewhat wayward nature.

Suddenly, while still walking backwards, Thomas veered and missed his footing and he went into the canal arse first. His long suffering mother was there in an instant and had him by the scruff of the neck. She hoisted him out in one swoop. His legs did not touch the towpath before a couple of good smacks were suitably planted on them. Thomas was now making all the noise.

However, this time they were retracing their steps back along the towpath. Mother was not best pleased and just as Thomas was about to throw a tantrum as he folded his arms and screwed up his face. There came a well placed kick to the tiny terrorists arse, It was without a doubt one of the best I have ever seen. It was a thing of beauty. it was administered with all the finesse of  a master in arse kicking.  It also helped Thomas to resume his walk along the towpath.

I wanted to cheer and jeer at the little shit, but I did not want to spoil the mothers moment, f reward which I understand is known as karma.

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