Friday 25 January 2013

Milton Keynes Lubianka.

In a late breaking news item. I bring an informational update on the changes to the first battalion of the Internal Wind Advisory (IWA) intestinal movement monitoring team. Read Here

Here are two of the latest Kennet and Avon recruits spotted soon after being fitted out with their new covert uniforms. 

Robin who is on secondment from the Colonic and Retention Team (CaRT) on the right can be seen during basic training on, which end of the binoculars to look through. He then quickly moved on to stage one of advanced binocular adjustment techniques. While his colleague Vaughan on the left completes (did you spot him?) stage one of initial covert observational training.

Yes, you too can join the Canal Stassi Hostile Information Tracker. (CSHIT) With all the freedom in the world to plot and spy on your friends and neighbours.  Reporting directly back to your handler at the Milton Keynes Lubianka. 

Think of the joy of reporting people for loitering with intent to use a lock, or urinating in a sanitary station. Bringing charges of going equipped with an offensive wife or being cheerful on a Wednesday.

Can you see me yet?
After completing the basic training in semi-advanced counter terrorist productive surveillance techniques.

You could be amongst the first of the recruits progressing into one of the new covert monitoring rapid response squads.

Soon you could be leading your cohort as it sets out to on patrol to catch the miscreants. The enjoyment that comes with being able to organise and run your own petty personal vendettas.

Here is Simon, a promoted in the field general in the 1st Foot and Mouth. A three week veteran of the Ashby, Leeds Liverpool and North Oxford campaigns. Wearing his extinguished service bottle tops. IPA (Indian Pale Ale) and bar, DCM (Drunk Come Mondays) and nut cluster. 


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