More Myths

'The Night Before Christmas' by Clement Moore is one of the most famous Christmas poems of all time. With lines like 'he jiggled his belly, like a bowlful of jelly' and the poignant 'to all a good night!' It established some images of Santa that continue to this day. As time has gone on, affectionate parodies of this poem have emerged, and some of them will make for highly entertaining reading.

Lock Gate Poetry

Twas the night before utopia, all down the canal;

came the sound of a wood carver, and a poet his pal;

chipping away to carve out,  the poets inner thoughts; 

words without meaning, that conjurers up naught.

Lock gates with graffiti, of a more permanent kind;

 disguised as an art form, that remains unsigned;

lock heritage and their function, forever is soiled;

the ambiance and the look, changed and spoiled.

In the morning I saw it, all scattered around;

chippings and sawdust, swept up in a mound;

I tried to make sense, of the words just incised;

if there was inner meaning, it was well disguised. 

Then I had an idea, and stood upon my head;

but as for true meaning, there's still not a shred;

I tried to read it again, but this time in reverse;

 despite all my efforts, it just seemed even worse.

Then the reality dawned, the truth of it was plain;

it never did have a meaning, for it was only feign;

distract thoughts from other ills, is the real plan;

a tricksters sleight of hand, done like a con-man.

Evan Keel
Alternative Canal Laureate