Saturday, 30 July 2011

Department of Works and Pensions

Most of you will know by now that I have retired. I say retired, but not in the traditional way. I have a while to go before I actually qualify to get my state pension. However, my works pension allows me to leave work earlier and to live a comfortable retired life, if a bit on the frugal side.

The Memsahib also took leave of her job yesterday and retired early. So all that remains now is to organise a bit of a joint barbecue for our old work colleagues to celebrate the change in status from net contributor to state scrounger.

So, this morning having nothing else to do I went to the Department of Works and Pensions. I thought I could have a look on the jobs board and see if there was any part time work that might interest me or the Memsahib. I was soon disappointed as most of the jobs on offer were not suitable for me. I did see a job at the Robin Hood airport that might have suited the Memsahib. They were looking for someone to kick start the jumbos.

Most of you will know that we have a couple of dependants. So I thought I would wonder into the  Benefits Office and enquire if either or both of the dogs could sign on. After an interview with one of the helpful benefits assistants who I think had recently learned English as a third language. She carefully explained that "I believe that dogs are not eligible to draw state benefit".

I explained that as an Irish Wolf Hound (they are actually Wire Haired Fox Terriers but who's splitting hairs) and being Irish they are therefore part of the EU. Also, that both are long term unemployed, can't speak English and neither has a clue about who their dad was. The helpful benefits assistant checked her policy book again to ascertain the exact criteria it takes to qualify for state benefits. They both get their first cheque next Friday. Damn, this is a great country! So we are now preparing to leave on our late summer into autumn cruise in a couple of weeks time.


1 comment:

  1. I love it...... Must grow my hair and practice my urdu in anticipation of my interview


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