Monday 17 May 2010

I have a theory.

Carryng on from my last posting about canal rage...

I have a theory, it goes something like this.....

Canal boat people fall into three personality types as distinguished from personality traits. There are also a few minor sub species. The three main groups are the social boater, the lonesome boater and the anal personality boater. Each has their own virtues albeit with the anal personality boater its impossible to find.

The social boater, is someone with a wide interest in boats of all kinds. Something of a party animal and extrovert, easy-going and relaxed individual. Social boaters don't have any preconceived ideas or carry any particular prejudice. Usually they like to enjoy a good conversation with anyone, usually but not exclusivly about all things boats. They enjoy a few beers on or off the boat and can be found in most boat clubs or in the more popular canal side pubs. Often to be found helping at locks mucking in by giving a hand.
  • There is a sub-species called the semi-social boater. This is a boater who has a small circle of boating friends with which they spend most of their time. Uncomplicated and loyal to their peers  They also enjoy a drink, but prefer to keep their powder dry and are more of a listener than an orator.

Then there is the lonesome boater, often an introvert, a private person who just wants to be left alone. Shy, withdrawn and having an inhibited temperament. Happy with their own company and returning a tacit nod to your cheery hello. Open conversation does not come high on their list of life skills. They value their solitude as much as others might value their social lifestyle. Serious and quiet, interested in peaceful living. Preferring a book to people.
  • There is the sub-species what I call the eco-boater. Environmental activists that adopt a lifestyle to advance some ecological ideology. Boaters who generally cock a snoot at all things involving regulation and conformity to the norm. They seem to collect together on backwaters away from the more busy areas. Not overly concerned with respecting laws and rules if they get in the way of getting something done.

The French have environmental activists called the Les Dégonflés who protest by letting down the tyres of SUV type vehicles. Maybe its the British Les Dégonflés' contingent who let go our moorings?

Left until last is the anal personality boater. The big fat hairy faced men and women who seem to be constantly on the point of purple faced rage. Assertive, outspoken have little patience with what they perceive as inefficiency or disorganization. Often creating more problems than solutions. The APB like to point out to everyone their opinion as fact and that theirs is the only opinion of any note.  They contribute nothing but poisoned spleen which is seemingly inspired by misplaced jealousy and irritability in equal measure. They are unfortunately to be found everywhere. Their greatest gift is to appear as if by magic at the most inconvenient time. Barking out unwanted advice almost as orders, with a stubbornness and a compulsion for control. Which in turn causes irritation and exasperation for the recipient.

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