Friday, 8 June 2012

Have our Royal Standards fallen.

The Jubilee Pageant or as I would call it “a day out on the river” was three years in the planning, and three hours to crash and burn! For the number of craft in a smallish space I think it speaks well of the skills of the crews that despite appalling weather some semblance of pageantry was kept.

From the comfort of a warm dry boat we watched some of the coverage on television. I could not help but think that the Thames Pageant was the focal point of the whole bank holiday for everyone. The coverage seemed disjointed and appalling in presentation. What was floating by was for many people a living part of our history. So what did we get for all of our money. Plus the time and effort of many individuals to get themselves and their vessels to the starting line. 

A world Class event? No way, the BBC organised a presentational farce.

Yet, rather than comment on what could have been a world class spectacular the BBC turned it into an amateur production of a Gilbert and Sullivanesque farce. Claire Balding rode slipshod over everything. Other presenters such as Matt Baker seemed to want to pass the baton to anyone else as they attempted to hide their own shame. It was clear that they, like us, watched the ongoing farce slowly sink into the worst piece of continuity, reporting, presentation and flim flam since we first foundered upon fraggle rock. At least the weather helped to hide the tears of acute ignominy of the outside presenters. 

I wanted them all to just shut up and let the pictures speak for themselves. Instead it was padded out with a bit of low grade celebrity drivel. A cooking masterclass and ineptitude on an epic scale. The coverage that the BBC presented was all very amateurish. The reality is that the pageant will be consigned to providing this weeks chip paper. The BBC coverage will be remembered as an occasional glimpse of boats chugging down a mucky river in the pouring rain.

I doff my metaphorical hat to those boat owners that played their part. At the same time I feel for those people who agreed to take part in what was after all a very unique and never to be repeated occasion. People and their boats that did not make it to the big screen for the millions of people around the world who were watching.

Roll on the Olympics and the list of top broadcasting faces which will include Ronnie Corbett, Will Gompertz and Nancy Dell'olio as lead presenters. Bruce Forsyth, Louis Theroux and Paul Merton doing the track side interviews. Factual background being provided by Emma Bunton with Cheryl Cole and Gazza as late replacements for the usual  Geordie contingent of Brendon Foster and Steve Cram.  I can smell the cheese already! But I digress....

As Madge and her family sailed along, I could not help but notice that they were seemingly trying to hide behind the chairs. An omen if ever there was of what was to come.  The last word should go to Prince Philip who obviously thought it was such a piss poor event, he had to be taken to hospital to extract the urine.


1 comment:

  1. Greetings MMP&A,

    We both noticed that Prince Andy Pandy was absent from proceedings at the flop flotilla.
    Dave reckons he was down below decks with a bottle of rum, pissed as a fart & screeching a sea shanty or 2..
    Then the Duke of Ed going to hospital was a cover story for the fact that Andy Pandy got carted in with alcohol poisoning..

    Hmm, makes sense of nonsense that..

    From Heth the Feth


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