Saturday, 5 September 2015

Never pass a toilet

The Memsahib said lets go for a walk and look at some boats. A larger boat has been on my agenda for a while. To be honest, I love the one we have and it provides us with a fair bit of creature comforts.

We looked around the various boats on offer and made a short list of three. Two prove to be a no go and one is a remote possibility. Thinking it was all over and time to go back. The lady in the marina says - we have another one that has just come in. But the Memsahib was determined that we had done for the day. I thought - she will only drag me back tomorrow. So I pipes up 'Billy Connelly says never pass a toilet because you never know when you might need to go. I say never pass a boat as it might be the right one!' The lady in the marina agrees.

So we get the key, for number four, It seems there is a top of the range kitchen. Everything is colour coordinated, lots of cupboard space, wardrobes and drawers.  To me, it is a very nice boat, and has a Lister pop popper with shiny brass bits in its own back bedroom.  However, its has the wrong kind of grill. Huh? So I say 'all boats are a compromise, the fewer the compromises, the more likely it is to be the right boat.'  She says 'its the wrong kind of grill in the wrong place and at the wrong height, its a  Elf and Safety risk.' I said I could move it. But interest was there non.

So that's that then - mental note made to self, don't make suggestions. I'm the last one off the boat locking up the doors. As I exit the front deck a curious quirk in the shell construction. It has a swirl shaped projection that sticks out about three inches where the tumblehome joins the roof.  It felt like I had impaled myself on the projection as I stood up. I managed to get off the boat and had to sit down as the pain was so intense. Then I felt sick and it was accompanied by an instant headache. I got the Memsahib to have a look. She says 'its scraped a good bit of skin off your shoulder and has left the pattern of the your shirt material embossed where the skin should be.'  She then pipes up 'come on lets go'. 

This morning, after an uncomfortable night as the shoulder is my preferred one for sleeping on. After holding a mirror in front to view another mirror at the back. I can see I have a huge scab,  a foot and half wide and three feel long, I might have exaggerated a little bit - but that is what it feels like. The pattern of my shirt can be seen neatly embossed in the scab.  But now it has been picked out with a decorative blue border that fades away to a sickly yellow.

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