Tuesday, 10 February 2015

The Waterways Ranger.

The alternative Canal Laureate seems to be going from strength to strength highlighting the issues that blight the boaters way off life. The latest is the group of boating busy bodies called Waterways Rangers. Recruited by the caring sharing charitable trust.

The Waterways Ranger.

Fred wanted to be a boater, to bring up his kids the same way;

loving his time on the water, in an idyllic life you might say;

but there is a spoiler, his minimalist existence is not their way;

why its an old gnarled IWA curmudgeon; with far to much to say.

You can't moor there son, an IWA member will soon be along;

so just keep on cruising, or I'll report you for getting it wrong;

I'm the new Waterways Ranger, stirring up trouble is my forte;

shift that rusting bucket, I'm judge and jury and you have no say.

It's the way of the charitable waterways, and Fred's not in their clique;

for he is the rusty boater owner, and the ranger thinks he's quite thick;

its a very cosy little arrangement, and the trust gives a nod and a wink;

if this should happen anywhere else, it would certainly kick up a stink.

Hello cart? I'v just moved one, he had logs piled up ready to use;

he's now looking for another mooring, so can you pass along the news;

so the next ranger was already waiting, with relish singing his evil song;
shouting you can't moor there son, an IWA member will soon be along;

Its the way it has become now, life on the cut is never going to be right;

its the playground of the childish boater, and one who is filled with spite;

moorings are now for the privileged, your money is not good enough;

if you are not a shiny boat owner, your life on the cut will be quite rough.

Sat in their clique in the clubhouse, comparing notes of their onerous day;

with a grin laughing at Fred's plight, they had pursued him a very long way;

now celebrating the days quota of misery, they gleefully brought to the cut;

there will be one less of them by tomorrow, its good to help cart get shut.

Evan Keel

The alternative Canal Laureate.

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