Monday, 7 May 2012

Old Farts - Are nothing to be sniffed at!

The efficacy of old farts it seems are nothing to be sniffed at. It could be that old farts were responsible for global warming. I thought at first it was a reference to the board at British Waterways. However, it turned out to be a different group of old farts altogether. (Pejorative and idiomatic an old fart is an elderly person who holds views that are considered old-fashioned.) 

It seems that the big vegetarian dinosaurs may be partly to blame for a change in climate because they created so much flatulence. According to leading scientists. Professor Graeme Ruxton of St Andrews University, Scotland, the giant animals spent around a life time of around 150 years emitting the potent global warming gas, methane.

Scientists calculated the animals would have collectively produced more than 520m tons of methane a year, more than all today's modern sources put together. It is thought these huge amounts could easily have been enough to warm the planet. It is even possible that the climate change was so catastrophic that it caused the dinosaurs eventual demise. So much for the big bang meteor extinction hypotheses, unless you were to hear them letting off of course!

Talking of demise, reminds me that an old long dead scheme has been revived again. Bob-A-Job Week.

For generations of Scouts, it was a time for raising money by performing good deeds – until health and safety fears and the rise of compensation culture saw it scrapped. Now, 20 years after the last one, Bob-a-Job week will  be revived by the Scout Association, as leaders attempt to rebuild the movement's traditional commitment to helping others. The scheme will see more than 144,000 children take part in thousands of community projects. The revamped scheme has been designed to comply with health and safety laws and to avoid the risk of compensation claims that saw its previous incarnation halted in 1992. Instead of washing neighbours' cars or mowing their lawns, the new scheme will see groups work on larger tasks, designed to help the wider community. Is this where CaRT is going to get all its volunteers from?

More than 50 commuters were waiting to catch the 22.17 service from Ashford International in Kent to Maidstone East station when they approached station staff to ask what was causing the delay. A member of staff for South eastern (recently voted the worst train company in the UK in a poll by consumer magazine Which) said that although a driver was on board the train could not leave without the guard. When asked what the guard was doing, commuters were told "he's having his nosh" and could not start his shift until he was finished eating. They were told that the guard was on his one-hour dinner break and that he was in the middle of polishing off a chicken salad sandwich and a bag of crisps.

The Transport Secretary said a few days ago "Tough new rail punctuality rules are being considered." It was perhaps the most ridiculous excuse anyone had ever heard for a train running late. Well apart from the wrong kind of snow, the minister is going to get tough or leaves on the line.


1 comment:

  1. Hmm, (shallow breath) this is a very smelly post indeed. All that methane must be dispersing the fresh bouquet through the ether to all tech devices. And all noses sat in front of them. Sniff, Poo, achoo



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