Not that old chestnut again!

A couple of decades ago, we had the Dutch Elm disease problem that decimated our native Elm trees. In fact I am told that there are only about a couple of hundred Elm trees left in the UK. Dutch Elm disease is a  fungal disease of Elm which is spread by a beetle. Although believed to be originally native to Asia, the disease has been accidentally introduced into North America and Europe, where it has devastated native populations of Elms which had not had the opportunity to evolve any resistance to the disease.

Elm was a favoured wood in the past for use to build and bottom many wooden narrow boats. Often giving a working  life of twenty to thirty years between replacement.

Now with a strong feeling of Déjà vu it veems to be happening all over again. but this time to another of our native trees.

It seem to be the turn of our native Horse Chestnut tree. In the UK Horse Chestnuts have suffered increased levels of attack from the horse chestnut leaf miner, a tiny moth larve that burrows into the leaf structure. Despite the poor appearance of horse-chestnut trees infested, there is no evidence that damage by the moth leads to a decline in tree health or tree death. Trees survive repeated infestations and re-leaf normally in the following year.

Now there is also a second fungal pathogen similar to Dutch Elm disease causing stem bleeding, commonly known as bleeding canker. When the infection spreads round the full girth of the tree, the tree will die.


All of the above comes after sustained damage from a couple of hundred years of producing acid rain which is as a result of air pollution. When any type of fuel is burnt, lots of different chemicals are produced. The smoke that comes from a fire or the fumes that come out of a car exhaust don't just contain the sooty grey particles that you can see - they also contains lots of invisible gases that can be even more harmful to our environment.

Until relatively recently air pollution has been seen as a local issue. It was in southern Scandinavia in the late 1950's that the problems of acid rain were first observed and it was then that people began to realise that the origins of this pollution were far away in Britain.

Acid rain was slowly killing trees in the north of England, parts of Scotland and across in Scandinavia as a result of our coal and gas fired power stations. However, factories and cars all burn fuels and so they also produce polluting gases. Some of these gases especially nitrogen oxides and sulphur dioxide react with the tiny droplets of water in clouds to form sulphuric and nitric acids. The rain from these clouds then falls as very weak acid - which is why it is known as "acid rain".

Acid rain can be carried great distances in the atmosphere, not just between countries but also from continent to continent.  The rain sometimes falls many hundreds of miles from the source of pollution but wherever it falls it can have a serious effect on soil, trees and water. In the 1970s the effects of acid rain were seen at their worst. Forests all over the world were dying... in Scandinavia the fish were dying; lakes were crystal clear but contained no living creatures or plant life. Many of Britain's freshwater fish were threatened their eggs were damaged and deformed fish were being hatched . This in turn led to to fish-eating birds and animals also being affected.

However, all acid rain is not man made, the release of sulphur dioxide can also occur naturally, such as when a volcano erupts. Nature has mechanisms to cope with natural events - todays polution levels are much more sustained than in natural events.

Now, in some new research that has just been released, it would seem that our two tree species are just the tip of the iceberg. More than a fifth of the world's plant species faces the threat of extinction, a trend with potentially catastrophic effects for life on Earth. Stephen Hopper, director of the Royal Botanic Gardens in Kew said "the report on plant loss was the most accurate mapping yet of the threat to the planet's estimated 380,000 plant species". At the launch of the Sampled Red List Index, Hopper also said "This study confirms what we already suspected, that plants are under threat and the main cause is human-induced habitat loss," The study was carried out by Kew with the Natural History Museum in London and the International Union for the Conservation of Nature.




Later....

To bee or not to bee.

I have gone Kindle mad! 

You may remember my previous post about purchasing an Amazon Kindle electronic book. Well I have started to read some of the classics again, just because they are a free download from Amazon. But mainly because the Kindle is a new gadget that is easy to use and easy to read.

I started out with "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Soon followed by "Blood Sweat and Tea" by Tom Reynolds. Blood, Sweat and Tea is a collection of Tom Reynolds favourite posts from his blog, Random acts of reality. The Real Life Adventures in an Inner-city Ambulance driver.

Time to go off at a tangent, as I rummage around in the old and failing memory box to find a few of the last grey cells that are still working! Today was wet and miserable - as usual, nothing out of the ordinary there then.

However, I noticed a few bees were still busy working the last of this years garden flowers. It's October, soon the hives will batten down for the winter. The majority of the workers will die and a skeleton crew will maintain the hive over winter. Keeping everything ship shape and preparing the hive ready for the spring.

Years ago, I used to keep a few bee hives in my back garden between the greenhouse and the hedgerow. I quite liked messing around with them - and I have always enjoyed honey. However, one day my next door nosy parker spotted them whilst cutting back my hedge! Well, to be honest the bees actually spotted him and nailed his arse. This was the starter for his never ending winding up of everyone else in the district in his anti bee crusade.  After a fair few complaints from people living around me, I eventually gave up keeping them.

Is there anyone who has never complained about a few wasps and bees being a problem. Yes, I know they are pesky little critters, they do like to join us for a meal now and again. But then, we need to realise that our world would soon collapse around our ears without their essential work.

The European Commission has approved programmes to improve the production and marketing of honey and apiculture products. This is a positive measure because the EU has recognised the vital role of honey bees not just for the production of honey, beeswax and other products, but also their role in pollination. It is estimated that over a third of the food we eat depends on pollination and with the ever-increasing world population we shall increasingly rely on the pollination services provided by bees. It has been estimated that insect pollination contributes over £150 billion per year to the global economy through agriculture. A reduction in pollination would mean that foreign fruit and vegetables would have to be imported at a higher cost.

Since 2006, large-scale losses of bee colonies in various parts of Europe, North America and Asia have served to highlight the 20,000 species of bees’ essential role in our ecosystems as key pollinators of wild plants and crops. This has also served as an eye-opener on how little we know about diseases that affect these insects and how changes to global farming practices can affect the fragile balance not only of pollinators but of whole ecosystems.

In the US the problem has been most acute with over a third of bee colonies failing to survive the winter. The exact reason for these losses (termed as colony collapse disorder) is still unknown, however, the attributable causes vary from viral and bacterial infections, irresponsible use of pesticides and destruction of bee foraging areas from over-development to loss of floral abundance and diversity due to intensive farming methods.

There is much to learn about this small insect, but one thing is certain – the decline of the honey bee is not a myth and it is a problem that we need to sort out very soon.



Later ....

His Goose was cooked!

Some fifteen years ago I was involved with a bird ringing group. It was all legal and above board. We would deploy mist nets and ring, weigh, measure and record whatever we caught. The vast majority of our ringing was done with the chicks in the nest boxes scattered round the nature reserve site.

From time to time we would look at ringing mature birds. There was a big lake near to the sanctury where people would go every day and feed the ducks and geese. We would go down and catch the odd goose or swan. The problem with the large birds is that you have to time your capture carefully if you want to catch more than one at a time. Once you grab a bird the others quickly scatter across the lake and it takes a few days for them to settle again.

The favoured place had a ramp down into the water, where trailer boats could be launched. it was late in the afternoon and we were on the ramp eyeing up the birds to identify the ring numbers that we could see. At the same time it gives us a chance to see which birds were not ringed. What we would do was feed the birds a bit of bread and then scatter some bread on the ramp. This would draw the birds out of the water. Making it easy to read the rings and after recording what we could see. We could then make a lunge and capture a couple of un-ringed birds.

Dave was the head ringer and reserve warden. Myself and John were giving some assistance with the recording of ring data. When we decided that it was almost time to go, we hatched our "Baldrick" like cunning plan to capture a couple of geese.  We would stand around on the ramp trying to isolate a bird each by getting between it and the water. We co-ordinated our efforts by whispering to let each other know when we were ready. John, was having problems with his target bird. When the "go go go" was given John was facing the water.

Dave and myself had missed our targets. John however had managed to grab his bird in about two feet of water. Suddenly out of nowhere came this "old lady", and charged up ready to defend the geese from these bullys. She bounced off the middle of John's back. He staggerd forward, went off the edge of the ramp. The goose escaped and all that could be seen was Johns Bretton hat floating in the water. a few seconds later he surfaced spitting and coughing. His bald pate on display (we never knew he wore a wig). At the same time the old dear went for him again. She was soon up to her knees in the water and shouting obcenties and threatening to tear him limb from limb.

It was a Mexican stand off, John could not get out of the water and she could not get in far enough to get to him. Myself and Dave the warden were rolling about laughing. She thought we were laughing at her and turned her ire on us. This gave John chance to make good his escape. This story is almost bird ringing folk lore and a few years later the story was re-told at John's funeral. the story helped to change the mood from sombre, to a celebration of his life.

Later....

Boating types you will find on various forums.

A few months ago Click Here I wrote a piece about the childish actions of some people on a boating forum. At the time I wrote “In a nod to Shakespeare, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” (Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 222–230)  To be honest “The perpetrators of either gender doth protest too much, methinks" as well.

Almost always misquoted as "Methinks the lady doth protest too much." Gertrude's line is both drier than the misquotation and due to the delayed "methinks" and therefore becomes much more ironic. The last comment I wrote was “Yet the likeness to Shakespeare does not stop there. The perpetrators can be become characterised in their own right. 

Shakespeare also said “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” (As You Like It - Act II Scene VII) The speech compares the world to a stage and life to a play then catalogues the seven stages of a man's life. Infant, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, pantaloon, and second childhood. "sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Today's the day for catching up on the “Forum Players.” who I think have reached the “pantaloon, and second childhood” point in their lives.

Here are some of the players:-

Troll: The troll lurks on a forum and aspires to verbal violence. Gaining a warped pleasure from the level of trouble they can cause. Whilst gaining a morbid  sense of pleasure from the emotions of disgust and moral outrage they create. The troll attempts to pass themselves as a valid participant who is caring and sharing the same interests and concerns. Trolls can disrupt the discussion and disseminate bad advice. Operating only from a position of complete anonymity. The spineless invertebrate troll demonstrates the lack of any moral fibre and a complete mastery of cowardice.

Naysayers: Naysayers are the saddest people you are ever likely to come across. Given to bouts of melancholy and unprovoked ill-humour, the ultimate aim of a naysayer is to derail, defuse, or destroy the dreams of others through negativity and by generally being shitty about stuff. Born with the instinctive ability to shake their heads whilst drawing air through clenched teeth.

Naysayers pervade every aspect of human endeavour, stifling imagination, smothering and putting a stopper on good old fashioned fun. They have been, perhaps, the greatest handbrake on social development through the ages. Naysayers are universally loathed and despised by right-thinking people. However nobody bears a greater hatred for a naysayer than another naysayer. Beards on either gender of naysayer are optional.

The Bullshitter or Pseudo-knowledgeable: The prefix pseudo is Greek for lying or false and is used to mark something as false, fraudulent, or pretending to be something it is not. Knowledge is defined to mean the confident understanding of a subject with the ability to use it for a specific purpose if appropriate. The Pseudo-knowledgeable or bullshiters are everywhere espousing their general ignorance as fact and the truth as an alien concept. Their conversation starts with a deep discussion on the merits of pump-out -v- cassette toilets, and goes downhill from there. Bullshit is commonly used to describe statements made by these people who are more concerned with the response of the audience than in the truth and accuracy. Bullshit is often used to make the audience believe that he or she knows far more about the topic. The bullshitter generally knows the statements are false, exaggerated and in other ways misleading or has no interest in their factual accuracy one way or the other. Bullshit does not necessarily have to be a complete fabrication you can bullshit with only basic knowledge. However nobody bears a greater hatred for a bullshitter than another bullshitter. Accordion playing is obligatory for either gender of bearded bullshitter.

Expert Nitpicker: Nitpicking inherently requires fastidious, meticulous attention to detail. The term comes from the intense and obsessive concentration and careful attention to detail required when searching for nits or lice. Nitpickers will often pore over the detail with great diligence to find all the occurrences of the most minute and insignificant of errors. Excitedly pointing out to everyone the most tiny detail of an error in a 1930's manual on lawnmowers. Particularly as the pointed-out details will seem insignificant or irrelevant to all but the finder. Nitpickers also stifle the discussion by deflecting the conversation in an unwanted direction and then criticising at length anyone else who nitpicks. However nobody bears a greater hatred for a nitpicker than another nitpicker. Accordion playing and beards and on either gender of nitpicker should be made compulsory.

Celebrity: The celebrity on the canal forum is the 'ego' without limits. The curious thing about the celebrity is that it is not a stand alone function. It is always associated with one or other of the existing groupings. So you get the celebrity troll, the celebrity naysayer, the celebrity bullshitter and the celebrity nitpicker.

Specialist: When a knowledgeable person is perceived to be an expert by others when he or she is by definition a specialist. A person may well be an specialist in one field and a layperson in many other fields. An expert differs from the specialist in that a specialist has to be able to solve a problem and an expert has to know its solution. However nobody bears a greater hatred for the specialist than nitpickers, bullshitters and naysayers. Accordion playing beards of either gender are disliked by specialists.

Expert: Experts have a prolonged or intense experience through practice in a particular field. In boating, the definition of expert is well established by consensus and therefore it is not necessary for an individual to have a professional or academic qualification for them to be accepted as an expert. In this respect, a boater with 20 years of experience would be widely recognised as having complete expertise in the use of the canal infrastructure and boating in general. Experts are often characterised by the perceptions of others who are less knowledgeable. Experts are asked for advice on their respective subject, because it is believed they have special knowledge of a subject beyond that of the average person, sufficient that others may rely upon the individual's opinion. However nobody bears a greater hatred for an expert than nitpickers, bullshitters and naysayers. Experts, usually smoke a pipe.

Observer: The observer is someone who can spot a naysayer at 500 paces. Chronic sadness is a toxic by-product of listening to nay-saying. The observer has gained an effective immunity to the naysayer. An observer can also detect even the faintest trace of a bullshiter at 1000 paces. Bullshit comes in many different packages only varying in strength, quantity and level of repugnance. The observer is someone who can feel the presence of a nitpicker at 2000 paces. High strength irritability is started as the nitpicker draws near. The observer has no sympathy for the cowardly troll and would be quite happy to see the demise of them all.

Average canal person: A person with knowledge of life. Who enjoys the time he or she spends on their boat. They like to communicate and enjoy the camaraderie of the canal lifestyle. They tend to be laid back individuals with a ready smile.

Layperson or Novice: A layperson, novice or newbie is a person who is inexperienced. Usually a person who is completely new to boating and eager to learn. Often identified by asking what is to an experienced boater a trivial and easy to answer question. But a significant opportunity to point out the slightest error at great length by the nitpickers, bullshitters and naysayers. The clean shaven layperson, novice or newbie of either gender does not smoke and recycles waste.

Sniper: As covert as the name suggests is the forum sniper. Who follows the machinations of the forum clientèle. Working in isolation the sniper passes few comments other than to target the Troll, Nitpicker, Bullshitter and Naysayer. A sort of hit and run warfare where their cover is never broken and their role is never revealed. Often the covert sniper will have several logins to the forum which are cycled from time to time. Each of their forum login are carefully controlled and camouflaged through anonymous browsing.

Super Sniper: The super sniper acts the same as the sniper. But utilises a separate troll like on-line persona that is used to draw the real trolls into the line of fire. The super sniper is often the trolls best friend!

Volunteer: There is a new person to be seen along the canal. The volunteer. Volunteers are a hardy group of men and women. Dressed in their 'high visibility' clothing, they enjoy the camaraderie that comes from spending time with like minded people. However, the volunteer hates being used as a political pawn or as a token gesture. The volunteer hates boundaries to what he or she can get involved with. The volunteer is a fickle animal, that thrives on well being. If the role available to the volunteer is repetitive. If the dynamics within the volunteering group are constantly changing.  The volunteer will up and walk away.

Volunteers who work the locks are welcomed by some, such as the average, layperson and novice. They are disregarded as superfluous by the Nay-sayer, Bullshitter and Nitpicker. They are regarded with a benign suspicion by the experts and specialist boaters who do not have any well founded trust their level of skill and knowledge of lock operation.

Worst of all for the well being of a volunteer is when the roles available are limited and not rewarding or challenging. Litter picking to clean up the detritus dumped by the public is a different task to restoring a footpath that has become overgrown by nature. Different in that one is a natural occurrence and the other is symptomatic of the apparent disregard for our environment. There is only so much litter picking that will be tolerated before the volunteers spirit is broken.

Curiously and at the same time understandably there a few volunteers that are found on canal forums. Their role is scorned and belittled by some. They provide rich pickings for the Troll, Nitpicker, Bullshitter and Naysayer. The one thing that picks out volunteers from other denizens on canal forums is that they are smart enough to keep a low profile.

Later.....

Swan story you will never forget.

About eight years ago we had a holiday with our two dogs on a broads hire boat. The boat seemed somewhat crowded with a couple of manic Springer Spaniels constantly dashing around. For the first couple of days, we had to try and keep them under close control, whilst they became accustomed to life on a boat. Both dogs loved water, as expected there were several instances of dog overboard.

Most evenings we would feed the ducks and geese after cruising for the day. This particular evening we were joined by a pair of swans. There birds were almost hand tame and I was soon sat on the gunnel feeding them. Suddenly one of the dogs came dashing out of the door and stopped with his back feet in the well and his front feet on the gunnels. With the swan being right next to the boat, this put them within a foot or so of each other. The swan was the first one to react when he made a lunge for the dog and caught a hold of him by the ear. At this point, both of them chickened out and tried to go in opposite directions.

The dog had the typical long ears of a spaniel, however he had been trimmed with his long wavy hair left on his ears. The swan was soon tangled up and not able to let go. I slammed the door shut into the boat, so that the second dog would not get involved. At this point I started to try and grab them both to see if I could pull them apart. Holding a flapping swan in one hand and a panic stricken Springer spaniel in the other is quite difficult. This was however, compounded by a couple of "old ladies" who were shouting abuse at me because they thought I had "set the dog" on the swan.

The tug and pull between the dog and swan must only have lasted a matter of seconds, before I managed to free them both. The swan made a tactical withdrawal away from the boat. The dog hit the bank at high speed. I jumped onto the bank to go after the dog. Out of the blue one of the old ladies started to beat me with her walking stick. I was trying to fend off the walking stick blows and call the dog back at the same time. I managed to grab her stick. Then the second old lady came to the "rescue" of the first old lady and also started to wade in with her bag, swinging it with all her strength.

The dog shot past me and jumped back onto the boat. I fought a rear guard action in Dunkirk style whilst I retreated for the boat. At this point the first old lady says she is going to get the police. The second old lady bolstered by her prowess with the hand bag, is issuing all kinds of dire threats.

I threw off the boats mooring lines and made good my escape. These two "blue rinse thugs" bring a whole new meaning to "Auntie Social Behaviour"


Later....