Saturday, 31 January 2015

Rupert's and Rodney's declare war!

Continued from yesterday.

Carrying on with the predjudice theme.

We are capable of displaying prejudice to our own kinsfolk on and off the canal. To lighten the tone a little bit, I've taken a light hearted view of the IWA looking all resplendent in their 'kings new clothes.'

Well, I suppose in all fairness it was bound to happen. We all know that the age profile of boaters is much closer to octogenarian end than it is to the teenage end of the age profile. But it should also be remembered that the make up of the rank and file of the IWA (Inland Waterway Association) is also towards the top end of the life expectancy spectrum.

Realising that the writing in this case is on the lock gates - so to speak - as the IWA membership continues to plummet ever downwards. In something of a throwback to the days of 'dads army'. Time has finally caught up with the grey granddads of the IWA. We all know that when you leave a group of the old greys unattended. The Rupert's and Rodney's will soon be reminiscing about their days of hand to hand fighting on the the Rochdale Canal. Wanting to put the rusty boated denizens of the cut to the bayonet. Because as the Corporal said to the Captain the moorings usurping fuzzy wuzzies don't like it up'em - so to speak. 

It seems that the geriatric nurse (probably foreign) forgot their medication again. And the granddads have stayed awake long enough to hold a council of war. It's been a while since the 'granddads' discussed placing the IWA national policy regarding boats without home mooring, into the public domain. This was then closely followed by a show of hands and then followed by a unilateral declaration of hostilities. The Grey Granddads know it will make them unpopular - so there's not much change there then.

The IWA has now singled out a group of boaters - these boaters who are in the main - towards the younger end of the boating age profile. These are boaters who will be trying to hold down a job and get their kids to schools. So they want to move around within a reduced area of the waterways. These are the very people the IWA need to join-up, because more and more of the greys seem about to take their last boat trip across the River Styx. 

The grey granddads now see themselves taking over from CaRT and its enforcement team. So its a case of where CaRT has failed, the grey granddads don't fear to tread. The grey granddads spokesperson who is obviously fluent in Gonads said [we will be working to] ‘Resolving the issues caused by congestion especially in urban areas where large numbers of boats remain in the area in contravention of the requirements of their licence'.

So I'm thinking of holding a collection to purchase some raffia and beads for the afternoon macramé sessions in the old boys playpen. Plus a large load of senna pods which might go some way to helping nurse with releasing the grey granddads urban congestion. 

Read the full story Here.

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