Monday, 18 August 2014

Has CaRT lost the plot?

Has CaRT lost the plot?

I ask the question because, of a dizzy, crazy notion that seems to pervade all those 'movers and shakers' employed on high salaries, in the oxygen starved atmosphere of Ivory Towers. It seems that after consulting the chicken entrails, a new plan of action has been established. Because an as yet unidentified and possibly mythical group of people are overstaying on visitor moorings. 

Mr Robert Mugabe has consulted the chicken bones which now say that by reducing the time limit that people can legitimately spend on visitor moorings. As if by black magic, this will make people who habitually overstay move on. A sensible course of action from a charitable trust and is to be commended to all boaters.

Now, you might think that casting the runes, consulting the chicken entrails and chicken bones would not be a very good scientific method of  establishing the facts. But it seems that what is good for Robert Mugabe is also good for the trust.  Yet another sensible course of action from a charitable trust.

So all fun on one side, what is the reality, who knows, but I would hazard a guess that:- The people who tend to over stay their welcome. Will continue to overstay their welcome, because they generally fail to conform to rules. There will also be an expectation amongst licence payers, that if people choose to overstay then the trust should police the situation. You are about to be disappointed on both counts.

In this world of knee jerk, canal politics - the reality is a simple one. A whole group of people who have previously respected the limits. Will now feel aggrieved that their favourite places have been changed from 14 and 7 day moorings into 48 and 24 hour moorings. Plus they will now be feeling the victim and of being persecuted. it seems that the day of pleasure cruising, staying on a mooring for a few day. Being able to take the opportunity of visiting towns and villages before moving on has in a moment of madness been taken away. Another sensible course of action from a charitable trust.

But now we now have another one of the trusts crazy foolish stunts.  Its been called the CaRT busybodies charter. So now those nosy neighbours you came to the canals to get away from are being recruited to form a vigilante army of CaRT authorised snoopers and voyeurs. They are being given carte blanch an excuse to spy on boating families. In a single Stasi like neighbour spying on neighbour scenario.  This will now create deep divisions in the boating community. Everyone suspecting everyone else of being one of those unknown vigilante, snoopers and voyeurs, who have been employed to spy on you.  Another sensible course of action from a charitable trust.

The Investigating Waterways Activities - or IWA Spying Guidelines.

These guidelines are intended to help you become proficient at spying on boat owners. The second set of guidelines are to help you remain safe. 

The Rational.
  1. People overstaying on visitor moorings don't deserve any essence of privacy.
  2. People who obey the rules on visitor moorings also don't deserve any essence of privacy. If their doing nothing wrong, they have nothing to fear.
How to conduct a covert operation.
  1. Make sure you drink lots of coffee and energy drinks, so you can stay up all night. 
  2. Make sure that you don't fall asleep before the people you are spying on. 
  3. Find a place to hide in the hedgerow, one that has a good view into a neighbour's boat.
  4. Make sure the area you are in is very dark so the people in the boat cannot see you.
  5. Stay still as well, because eyes can catch motion easier than still objects. 
  6. Keep low and only take the occasional peek. 
  7. Buy a pair of binoculars, so you can get a close-up, clear view of what's going on. 
  8. When spying, make sure that you have a camera, tape recorder, pen and notebook to record your observations. 
  9. A good disguise should be discreet and not very obvious - a dirty stained trench coat is ideal. 
  10. A good disguise should also have sun glasses. However, don't wear the sunglasses at night, it's rather suspicious. 
  11. Always act normal while spying. 
  12. Don't do anything out of the ordinary or people will become suspicious. 
  13. Acting like a ninja is a good idea.
Safety Tips 
  1. Always carry a personal first aid kit.
  2. Don't get caught, you could get charged for invasion of privacy, stalking or being a Jimmy Savile by taking an interest in anyone's children. 
  3. Think, be smart, if you don't think and learn things about being an CaRT detective, then you won't get any where. 
  4. This could be dangerous, but it will spice up your boring existence. 
  5. Remember you could get charged if caught or even be beaten up. That's why you should take a self defence course. 
  6. Make sure you have a good sensible shoes so that you will be able to run at a pace that is reasonably fast. 
  7. Have satellite images of the moorings. Google Earth is free to download. Knowing the area well could be critical to your safety if you are in a confrontation.
  8. Never carry anything with your identity or home address. You may get detained and searched by the boater.
  9. The police will only detain you for a short time until your identity is established. The courts may decide to detain you for a longer period. 
  10. Don't accuse someone of breaking the rules unless you can prove it, and don't confront them about it once you have proof. 
  11. We don't have anyone to chase up the issue - so its a pointless exercise anyway.
  1. It's OK by us for you to spy on someone you know, or don't know.
  2. Even if you know that you shouldn't be spying on them, its OK.
  3. We will deny any knowledge of your covert clandestine practises.
  4. Have a nice day.
  5. This communication will self destruct in 30 seconds.

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