Thursday, 28 June 2012

Calm down dear - be a Winner.

Never ever loose your temper, just get even. In California a woman lost $2,000 after she threw her handbag at a passing car filled with teenagers who allegedly threw a milkshake at her. The woman was walking across the road when a white Range Rover full of teenagers drove by and allegedly threw a milkshake in her face. Authorities said the woman tried to get revenge by throwing her alligator skin handbag at the passing vehicle. A window was open on the Range Rover and the handbag landed inside the car. The handbag had several of the woman's personal items and $2,000 in cash. Police are looking for the handbag and a group of suddenly wealthy and happy teenagers.

I'm not kidding!

The USA is the worlds top super power with a nuclear arsenal big enough to obliterate a sizeable part of the world. Its also the country where in Chico, California, the City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

$500 dollars a pop!

The USA is the worlds top super power with a thirst for petroleum  big enough to fuel a sizeable part of the world. Its also the country where the average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.

Que Vera Lynn "Whale meat again don't know where don't know when"

The USA is where the worlds top level of homicide and other such crimes are committed. Its also the country where Police officers in at least four states are in cyber-trouble after exchanging explicit email messages with a 17-year-old Illinois girl. Eight deputies in North Carolina alone have been disciplined. The teen's mother says the cops "took advantage of her daughter's innocent adventures," but Troy Spencer an attorney for one suspended officer sees it differently. "This young woman, has made contact with a very vulnerable element of our society police officers..."

You know the ones with guns and tasers....

The USA is where the worlds top educated people live. In Ohio, a man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead, and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill, and stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain. 

It figures that he would not find one!

Last but not least and not to be outdone, here is one from the UK. A sex line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialing an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, "He got what he deserved."

I'm now going to look for the recorder!


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