Thursday, 1 April 2010

Wonderful news for Narrow Boaters.

New developments in the French “Poisson d’Avril” project have been anounced about a new (hybrid) propulsion system intended for boats on the French canal system. The new power generator prototype is about  to be imported onto the UK canals.

It works by filtering out the latent power of starlight and using it to fuel a hybrid system for all kinds of marine engines. The system works by utilising the blue spectral light from starlight. This is then combined at high pressure in the anti-matter Orgasmatron and used to turn iron pyrite, (iron sulphide FeS2) into a new zero footprint, non-bio form of blue coloured diesel.

The researches at the University of Trompe L'oeil in France report that they have now secured all of the specialist parts to develop an upgraded version of The Orgasmatron. Including marine grade servo's, control units, solenoids, transducers, amplifiers, regulators, fans, torque converters and blue starlight condensers. However, further development work still needs to be done on a new and more efficient solar filter so that the hybrid fuelled engine can still be powered even in daylight. Preliminary results from testing done so far, indicate that the project has some significant potential. Connecting the Orgasmatron output gag pin directly to the Barus 43 engine starter shaft has provided enough power to move a 70' wide beam vessel over a 200 kilometre test run on a single fuelling.

Further research work is being done to develop a more efficient way to store the latent energy output from the Orgasmatron. One possible solution is to combine normal matter with antimatter, when you release the matter you get instant energy. Then you store the starlight energy (like charging a battery) by re-creating the depleted antimatter. Another way to store this energy that is being explored is in some form of repeatable mechanical deformation. This is the idea behind a spring used in a wind-up device. You store the energy by bending (deforming) the material and the material releases the energy back as it returns to its original shape. Alternatively you could use the energy to spin up a flywheel and then later extract the energy by using the flywheel to run a generator.

The research paper highlighted that apparently no mass is converted into energy. However, this is not entirely correct. The mass of an atom is more than the sum of the individual masses of its protons and neutrons. Extra mass is a result of the binding energy that holds the protons and neutrons of the nucleus together. Thus, when the Orgasmatron is running, some of the energy that held it together is released as radiation in the form of heat. Because energy and mass are one and the same, the energy released is also mass released. Therefore, the total mass does decrease a tiny bit during the reaction.

In particle physics, antimatter is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to matter, where antimatter is composed of antiparticles in the same way that normal matter is composed of particles. For example, an antielectron (a positron, an electron with a positive charge) and an antiproton (a proton with a negative charge) could form an antihydrogen atom in the same way that an electron and a proton form a normal matter hydrogen atom. Furthermore, mixing matter and antimatter would lead to the annihilation of both in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does, thus giving rise to high-energy starlight photons or other particle or antiparticle pairs.

It was also pointed out that there is a beneficial incidental by-product of the system.  Caused by all the anti-negative anti-matter electrons created as a result of the conversion process in the Orgasmatron. The anti-negative anti-matter electrons will stop all forms of steel hull pitting and would also have the effect of causing hull blacking material held in suspension in much of the canal water to be deposited back on the boats hull. This does not however, work on boats fitted with sacrificial anodes. The Orgasmatron is expected to sell for about £250 each with typical running costs of around 5p per day and should be avaible in early April 2010.

The project is also known by the acronym "SPOOF" or the "Starlight Powered Orgasmatron Output Fuel.

The Orgasmatron boat power source should not be confused with the Orgasmatron 3000 washing machine.

This is probably the kinkiest kitchen appliance I’ve ever seen, the Leather clad Orgasmatron 3000, washing machine. And if a leather clad washing machine wasn’t strange enough, it also comes complete with a built in saddle so “You can ride the machine” so to speak (if it’s anything like my washing machine that might take some holding on to).

The Orgasmatron 3000 is designed by Dominic Wilcox and is currently on show at Room X (Habitat, Regents St, London) which is part of the London design festival, I wonder if it comes with a whip .

OK - yes it was an April 1st jape...

I did leave a few clues along the way....
Poisson d’Avril = April Fish or April Fool the French way.
Orgasmatron = Say no more
iron pyrite, (iron sulphide FeS2) = Fools Gold
Trompe L'oeil = 'trick the eye'
a spring used in a wind-up device = this is a wind-up device
causes hull blacking material to be deposited back on the boats hull = Free Lunch
Starlight Powered Orgasmatron Output Fuel = SPOOF


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