News

There is good news that some of us like to read about and then there is bad news that everyone likes to read about. It's true that bad news always travels faster and further than good news. However, there are those amongst us who having a jaundiced disposition and would like to occasionally import good news ideas from other parts of the world.

By way of an example, take this week, in the USA. Apparently "a truck carrying podiums and sound equipment used by US President Barack Obama was stolen by thieves". Now you may ask why we would want to import such news. Just imagine for one moment the scene. Cameron and Clegg the twins who talk a load of Caster and Pollox arrive at their next engagement. Only to find that someone has done us all a favour and legged it with the sound system. Bliss.

However, we also have our own home grown news stories. Dale Farm has provided us with some light relief from the daily dose of "doom and gloom" from the mongers that our politicians and news services have become.

I don't have a problem with people who choose to live in a caravan or on a boat for that matter. However, the great unwashed were out in force as usual to lend their support. Up in scaffold towers like rats up a drainpipe.

I understand that Dan Hooper aka "Swampy" was unavailable for this gig. I love the quote from protester Alice a sometime friend of Swampy "The media is too much into our lifestyle, all they want to know more about is where we shit than what we are protesting about." The media enquiring into shit sounds about right.

The Dale Farm debacle gave the boys in blue serge a reason to get in some extra overtime just before Christmas. But the one over riding mental image I have is when one of the very "forceful" ladies at the camp was being interviewed on television.

In the background was a placard that said

Bless!

But there are those news stories that leave us shaking our heads in disbelief. Like the father who made his 9-year-old daughter drive him to a petrol station, because he was too drunk to take the wheel himself. How can this man can think of himself as a father. Did he not realise it was dark, and past her bed time. He could have waited until morning and let her drive then damn it!

On a watery theme which is the direction of this blog. As the quality of water in rivers and canals improves despite the best efforts of BW CART and the EA. So a very worrying story hits the headlines. The RSPB have introduced eels into three of their nature reserves.  Not only do we now have to worry about all the usual nasties in the water if we happen to fall in.  Everyone now needs to watch out for these little slippery customers as well.

A new problem has now reared it head so to speak. You may have read in the news about those health and beauty spa's that offer fish pedicures. Where the fish nibble at your feet and if you are a brave cove you might jump in and join them for an all over treatment. Zhang Nan was bathing with live eels to cleanse his skin when one rogue serpent took a liking to his todger. The outcome was that Nan ended up in hospital, and underwent a three-hour operation to remove the eel. A similar problem with an eel befell a young man in India. I'm not sure if this will have a lasting effect on the man, but it is to be hoped that "Nan Bred" before the accident.

Later......