Monday, 29 September 2014

Parallels Lives

There are so many parallels between living on a boat and living on the bank. Some people have tidy roof gardens and others cultivate a wildlife reserve. Its all a matter of perspectives. However, its not your perspective that matters, it theirs. It's the same with boats, there is the shiny boater and then there is the grimy boater.

Parallels Lives

I am a very shiny boater, as proud as proud could be;
Polished are my mushrooms, that takes all day you see;
My paint work is gleaming, my lines all neatly coiled;
Then came along the rain, and all my effort spoiled.

My beds are always made, just as soon as I get up;
Everything is ultra tidy, I wash and clean my cup;
No dogs cats or kids, will you find aboard this boat;
Tied to a marina moorings, used as a protective moat.

I don't like the grimy boater, what he does just gets my goat;
Should live his life just like me, and wash and clean his boat;
Take down and clean those curtains, then wash and coil his ropes;
If cleanliness is next to godliness, so for grimy there is no hope.

------- O ------

I am a very grimy boater, logs piled high upon my roof;
I love the life on the cut, relaxed - carefree that's the truth;
Care worn streaked and looking old, and also is my boat;
I think I am the happiest person, just living the life afloat.

I'm very comfortable in my ways, with a smile upon my face;
I move sometimes around the cut, but at a steady gentle pace;
Living my life in a marina, would not be the choice for me;
I moor up my boat with nature and I know that I am free.

Shiny boater is a sad case, with an even sadder wife;
The pair of nosy parkers, who just lead a boring life;
A pair of chintz curtain twitchers, it really is a farce;
So I stick out my tongue, and sometimes moon my arse.

The Alternative Canal Laureate

Evan Keel

1 comment:

  1. Shiny boaters (and their wives) are happy not sad.
    Shiny boaters think old farts living in a shit heap with a hard solitary life must be mad.
    What right has the old fart got to sit in judgement, cast incorrect labels, assume the worst and moan?
    Remember the saying "each to his own".
    Good luck to the old fart, who surely can't be happy living in a dirty smelly bucket? Ask the shiny boater if he moans and groans or bears a grudge against the messy one. No. As for the old fart, getting all personal about shiny boats and their owners reeks of jealousy for a clean, happy, yes happy life moored amidst friends.
    So better go and tell Mr Keel to get his facts right.
    The grotty boater with a personality problem is of no consequence to a shiny boater.
    A shiny boater is thankful that they can live afloat in comfort and don't have to cope with living on a canal system that's barely navigable in some places. Is full of shit in others. Breached in others. Where many locks are falling to bits, even dangerous.
    Yes the dirty boater is definitely bonkers and has a truly warped, truly incorrect vision of his own making. BTW there's plenty of shitty boats out there that never move. And plenty of shitty boats without a licence too.


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