Monday, 31 March 2014

It makes you feel proud.

The schools minister - Gove - is obviously inspiring schools with his mind boggling ideas. Some other are jumping on the Gove bandwagon and providing him with some competition by retaliating with boggling ideas of their own. I remembered as a kid at school, we earned stars for doing something notable. So I came up with 'Gove Stars' to acknowledge the entrepreneurship of the staff.

A school, which was placed in special measures after Ofsted deemed it inadequate in 2012 has come up with a wonderful mind boggling idea. The parents of a six-year-old boy have criticised his school after the child was suspended for four days for having a packet of Mini Cheddars in his lunch box. Senior staff at Colnbrook Church of England Primary School decided that Riley Pearson should be kept way from lessons for continually flouting its healthy eating policy with his choice of cheesy snack.  Bronze Gove Star awarded.

Staff at a primary school in Melksham, Wilts, fled inside when a five-year-old pupil got stuck up a tree in the playground. In a mind boggling lapse the staff exited citing health and safety rules. Quick-thinking passer-by Kim Barrett helped the lad down, but instead of thanking her, headmistress Beverley Martin reported her to the police. The police in a mind boggling moment of her own ticked her off for trespassing. I don’t know who is more wrong, the police or the teachers. But both failed in their duty. Gold Gove Star awarded.

In a clear case of political mind boggling correctness, gone mad, a mother in Hull was ordered by a school to declare her 7-year-old son guilty of racism. The reason for the demand, the boy asked a 5-year-old classmate: 'Are you brown because you come from Africa?' The boys mother Hayley White was summoned to a meeting with Elliott, his teacher and the deputy head of Griffin Primary School in Hull. I was told I would have to sign a form acknowledging my son had made a racist remark which would be submitted to the local education authority for further investigation. Gold Gove Star awarded.

The outstanding - Double Gold - Gove Lifetime Achievement Award goes to head mistress Lynn Small.

Parents were up in arms at a primary school that has threatened to label kids as “racists” for years on their school record if they refuse to attend a field trip meant to push Islam on kids. In a mind boggling and crass piece of stupidity. Lynn Small, headmistress at Littleton Green Community School in Huntingdon, sent a letter home with the children. 

The headmistress’ letter says the field trip is part of a “statutory requirement” for kids to learn about different cultures. The workshop is to be held at Staffordshire University and will give your child the opportunity to explore other religions. Children  will be looking at religious artefacts, similar to those that would be on display in a museum. They will not be partaking in any religious practices. Refusal to allow your child to attend this trip will result in a Racial Discrimination note being attached to your child’s education record, which will remain on file throughout their career. 

Fortunately, the understandable outrage from parents was enough so that education officials got involved and told the headmistress to retract her threats. Ms Small sent a second letter pleading for parents to disregard her previous missive. Double Gold Gove Star awarded.

I wonder if this mind boggling achievement will be attached to the education record of Headmistress Lynn Small.

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