Friday, 15 March 2013

Out to lunch!

Does your boat lean at a bit of an angle. Is there some rock mixed in with your jelly roll. Now that Christmas has been and the pounds have just piled on. (I know the feeling) Not only that but the new year resolution has failed yet again? Is dieting a weigh of life for you! The first thing is never tell anyone that you're going on a diet, taking up exercise or quitting smoking. They'll encourage you to death.
Here is a weight-watchers tip for the scoffers amongst us....

The Independent recently reported that Dean Kamen (who invented the Segway, a sort of standing up scooter) had developed, along with a medical team from the USA a slimming device. It appears to work as a "reverse feeding tube" that will vacuum out up to 30 percent of any food in the stomach before it is digested and converted into calories. After installation of the stomach pump the user could then operate the device without daily medical help.

The bit that gets me is that some people drive their cars to the Gym just to climb on to a rowing machine or bike - which then goes nowhere. Why don't they buy a boat or a bike and go for a ride instead!

But for an old cynic like me there is always a surprise chuckle.  Like when the floor collapsed at Swedish Weight Watchers clinic. The Weight Watchers clinic in Växjö in Sweden collapsed beneath a group of about 20 participants in the diet programme. The participants had gathered in the group’s facilities to see how much weight they had lost. One of the participants said "We suddenly heard a huge thud; we thought it was an earthquake and everything flew up in the air. The floor collapsed in one corner of the room and along the walls. Then floor then started to give way in other parts of the room. Shortly thereafter, the smell of sewage began to waft up into the room. "When everything had calmed down, the participants moved the scales to a nearby corridor and set about seeing how many kilos they had shed. And this time the floor held. No one was injured in the incident, the cause of which is still under investigation.

Needing to shed a few pounds, Bob, and his wife Jen, went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. They followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for their individual portions. Bob and Jen felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful; they had never felt better, nor did they ever feel hungry. As time progressed, Bob and Jen realised that they were, in fact, putting on weight and not losing it. They decided that they ought to check the detail of the recipes just one more time. It was then that they found their error. There, in small print, big Bob and bonny Jen saw to their horror: 'Serves 6'.


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