Thursday, 15 November 2012

You know when. (3)

Traditional Compass - - - - - - - - - - - - - Feminine Compass
You learn something new everyday. Over time I have become quite adept at navigating both the boat and the car. It’s often reported that men cannot multi-task and women have no sense of direction.

Recently, I discovered that there is a female version of the traditional navigation compass. I had been subconsciously aware of the feminine compass for some time. This was associated with having to frequently navigate using reciprocal courses whenever SWMBO was driving. I have created a diagram to help with the directional translation process.

When out and about in the car it's not unusual for me to be the navigator and for SWMBO to do the driving. I am quite happy to use the nautical terms of red and green being Port and Starboard and also being interchangeable with left and right. However, I do have difficulty in using navigational phrases such as "no, its the other right" in good time.

Spacial awareness is supposed to be one of the male's specialisms. Men, are more likely to navigate intuitively and figure out where they are by using a cognitive map (examining the total lay of the land and sizing up where things are positioned in relation to one another) and then computing distances (guesstimating how far they've travelled). 

Yet I can go into a multi level shopping centre and soon become totally disorientated. However in such situations the Memsahib is able to navigate to any other point by using specialist feminine spacial awareness techniques. 

I am convinced that the technique is based upon knowing the direction of the shoe department locations in relation to the clothing department for any given high street complex of stores.

I'll drink to that!
I have produced the above diagram to illustrate how when invited out for a drink. The male and female cognitive processes actually work.

Did you hear about the boat skipper who entered a canal side tavern and orders a beer. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another beer. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders yet another beer.

The lady behind the bar who has seen just about everything, is somewhat intregued says to the boat skipper “I will bring you beer all night, but please tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order.” The boat skipper replies, “ I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home to the boat.”


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