Saturday 20 October 2012

Stricken by Man Flu.


The Skipper and scribe of the ships log has been taken ill. Despite his best efforts to soldier on and do his duty. He was eventually forced to take to his bunk and to ride out the illness with the aid of several different types of medication. 

This brought around claims of "Man Flu" which is a common phrase bandied around in the junior ranks. It is intended to suggest the false notion that when the Skipper has a cold. His illness is often exaggerated to the point where the Skipper will claim they have the flu. 

A web-based survey of readers of the learned magazine "Nuts" first brought this to the attention of the medical world. There was a further supporting study published in The Daily Mail and the The Daily Telegraph (two other well respected journals

Man Flu is a crippling and debilitating disorder indiscriminately striking down male members of the human species without warning. The illness is often referred to pejoratively by female members of the species who are in fact immune from the illness as man flu is now known to exclusively attack the XY chromosome carrier. If Man Flu is kind enough not to kill the infected party it will definitely leave him weak, sick and hurting everywhere. Medical professionals now also widely recognise that self diagnosis by the sufferer is the best means of identification of the condition.



But here is the rub. 

Like all good science and leading edge research led by men. The information was criticised as being unscientific by the female members of the species. There is a continuing discourse by collectives of women over the scientific basis for the disease. There is some well founded scientific evidence to suggest that women are much more likely to exaggerate the common cold as being the same condition.  

However, this condition can only truly be called the common cold. Its the same when a simple headache suddenly becomes a migraine requiring days of bedrest. Supported by the paradox where all male conditions have to be compared with female childbirth. At least with child birth it's all done and dusted in a few hours, but Man Flu can last for weeks.

A 2010 survey by the Office for National Statistics reported on by the BBC World Service suggested that women call in sick twice as often as men do. In addition, a 2011 study conducted at the University of Queensland suggests that female hormones (such as oestrogens) aid pre-menopausal women in fighting infections, but the protection is lost after menopause. 

All men eventually become experts in menopausal women.

The symptoms of Man Flu are far more severe than the simple common cold which predominantly targets the XX chromosome holders. This goes some way to explain the cynicism some women display towards their male counterparts. The effects of Man Flu can linger for days and days, compared with just a few hours for the common cold. If the man is not permitted the correct period of convalescence following an attack of Man Flu he can be plunged back into a critical condition.

Later.....



2 comments:

  1. I feel for you brother, my man flu lasted 3 weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am hanging in to the best of my ability. It's a man thing!

    ReplyDelete

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