Wednesday 27 June 2012

Paul Daniels and BW.

What do Paul Daniels and British Waterways have in common. Apart from Smoke and Mirrors - but we already know that.  There is a second trick used by magicians that BW have mastered its called misdirection. In other words, the magician deflects your attention from their underhand manipulations.

When the Tring Summit reservoirs were approaching full, British Waterways carried on chaining lock gates to preserve water stocks. When the reservoirs were actually full, British Waterways carried on chaining lock gates to preserve water stocks. When the reservoir were full and overflowing as pointed out by a number of boaters. BW continued to padlock the gates to preserve water stocks.

BW "The wet weather has improved our reservoir holdings substantially over the last few weeks. However, the four main reservoirs within the Tring group are not yet full, although visually they may look so."

This glass is not full.

Maybe the British Waterways problem comes from to many half full glasses creating the beer goggles syndrome. I have done some serious research into the beer goggle problem and here is the result.

Now there is also one other curious side effect of wearing beer goggles. One that I believe could bring the answer to the missing millions of visitors. The effect is that beer goggles also multiplies the apparent number of visitors that can be seen walking the towpath. 

Here we have a Charlie from CaRT demonstrating that when dealing with British Waterways there is going to be lots of froth before you get to the real thing.

BW Beer

As we know, British waterways spent some of our cash buying a number of canalside pubs. Like the saying goes they could not organise a piss-up in a brewery.

From the team that brought you square bollards and self decapitating foot bridge updates. The latest idea is to use horse drawn narrowboats on the canals. As a direct replacement for those smelly smoky engines. To be combined as a method of keeping down the grass on the towpath. British Waterways releases a picture of its latest idea prototype.

I think this idea has legs, I'll drink to that!


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