Friday, 2 December 2011

The Waterways Trust

The Waterways Trust has now held its last ever annual meeting on the 17 November. The WT is due to join up with the new Canal and River Trust next year. Over the past year, the Waterways Trust has raised more than £1.25 million. Plus a further £1 million in new pledges.

I wonder if that will be enough to cover the wages, bonus and pensions for the "CaRT crew" AKA senior management. The Trust has published its annual review of key activities for 2010 - 2011. The document, is available for download on-line at the trusts website here.

Because of all the furore over the funding of CaRT, I am convinced that the Waterways Trust might be better hanging back for a while, just to see how things workout for CaRT before committing to a full merger. I have the feeling that it could all end in tears.

And now for a little fairy tale....

While walking down the street David Cameron the PM is tragically hit by a lorry and dies. His soul arrives at the gate to heaven and Dave is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven" says St. Peter. "However, before you settle in there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts. So we will have to do things different to normal to deal with you." "No problem" says Dave. "What you have to do is spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. Then you get to choose where to spend eternity" says St Peter. "Really, you don't have to go to so much trouble, I've made up my mind, I want to be in heaven." says Cameron. "No problem" says St Peter

St.Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down into hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting richer and richer at the expense of the ordinary people. They all play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who looks a bit like Lord Mandelson. A very friendly fellow who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before Dave realises it - its time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the lift raises up...

The lift goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, now it's time to visit heaven. 24 hours pass with Dave joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he knows, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

St Peter says "You've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."  Dave reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down into hell. Now the doors of the lift open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all the people dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in bags as more trash falls from above. Dave's old friends are nowhere to be seen.

Lord Mandelson comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. Dave stammers "I don't understand. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and there were plates full of lobster and caviar, my friends all drank champagne, and danced we had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends are all gone and everyone else looks miserable. What happened?" The devil looks at him, smiles and says "Yesterday we were campaigning....Today you voted."


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