Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Silent night un-holy night!

Christmas is coming, a time of good cheer and good will towards "some" men anyway!

What has mega plonker Clarkson gone and done - he's opened up his big fat gob again. Now, I don't mind Jeremy being a complete twat, after all life has a natural balance and so there has to be an equal and opposite reaction. Saying that people such as nurses or border agency staff who are out on strike should be shot is one thing. However, then going on to say that people should have realised he was joking is taking the lee way a bit to far. Change the nurse to a Jew or border agency staff to a Muslim and it would have a different reaction altogether. The first wife of Clarkson labelled him a 'bully and a hypocrite' and she would know.

Moving on........

Gifts have to be found and I always find it to be a difficult choice to source something special for the woman in my life. Its especially difficult for one who already seemingly has everything. You can if you wish just beat around the bush watching out for the odd hint about what they would want and risk getting it wrong.

Alternatively you could just come straight out and ask. The problem for me is that I know that the straight forward approach would be answered with "Oh! I don't know, there is nothing I need so don't bother" Now I have a strong sense of danger and even more of self preservation. I know that if I was to do as she suggested my life would be in peril and it would be miserable from that point onwards.

Yet in an about-face if I was to suggest not bothering it would be totaly different. Take last year, it eventually came out that she would like to have her own resting place in a village churchyard. It might sound a bit macabre as a gift, but it was her own choice. She wanted one within a quiet peaceful location and it had to be surrounded by woodland and meadow. It was not easy to find such a place, it was very difficult. Eventually I did find the perfect almost idyllic location. Not much more has been said about it since.

This year it would be fair to say I was more than a little surprised when she asked if I wanted to know what she wanted for Christmas. It was at that point that I put by size nine and a half foot in the deepest bit of doo doo. I jokingly remarked "I'm not getting you a gift for Christmas this year. Because you have not used last years yet!" The temperature went from a pleasant warm atmosphere to a very frosty minus 60 in an instant. I have to admit it - sometimes I have a way of winning people over with words.

So this year, you might come across an old man out shivering in the cold.  Begging for a little Christmas cheer on another frosty night indoors and outdoors. Hopefully the temperature will have eased a little by spring!

Inflation is everywhere!

Christmas is coming,
My goose was cooked a fact,
Please put a pound or two
In the frozen out old man's hat.
If you haven't got a pound
Then a fifty pence will do,
If you haven't got fifty pence,
Then God bless you.

That reminds me, why do we never hear much about the 10th of Santas Reindeer the one called Olive? You know the one in the song "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names!"

I have been promised a neck anchor for christmas - hopefully its a bit different to what I imagine!


1 comment:

  1. Don't forget Bruno the Brown-Nosed reindeer. He is in the second row behind Rudolf. He runs just as fast but his brakes are not as good as Rudolf's.


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