Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Acting the goat.

New Years eve approaches, political comment comes via Zottel the Shergar like Swiss Goat. Zottel was used as a mascot by a far-right party in Switzerland and was recently kidnapped by left-wing rivals just a few days before the elections. Keep an eye out over the festive season as Zottel just like Shergar could be making a personal appearance in a restaurant near you.

Zottel said before disappearing all this "nanny state" stuff got me to thinking about your British political parties and what sort of Mascot  the "identikit inspired" politicians in Westminster could adopt.

Boris the Monkey
The Conservative party could says Zottel, adopt Boris the Monkey as their official mascot. He could take over the role of Nick Clegg when the coalition government comes to an end.

Identikit Politician

Another possible candidate says Zottel, would be Eric the Pickles Conservative MP for looking back in Ongar and Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government cock-ups. The man with a face for radio. Because each time he opens his mouth another big fat "pie in the sky" idea disappears down the gullet of doom.

Eric the Pickles says Cameron through his Big Society wants people to help themselves. True to form it seems certain elements in the London riots were doing just that. According to Eric the Pickles, the people involved in the riots are a bunch of mindless idiots who would use anything as an excuse to create mayhem and to steal. Much like our house flipping politians!

Edward and David
Dum and Dee
But what of the Labour Party says Zottel, what mascots could they adopt. We all know that the brothers Grimm vied for party supremacy and were known at the time of the contest as Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee.

Cameron - Cable - Clegg
But what of the Teflon trousered Nick Clegg says Zottel. "He is the about turn and about turn again leader of the tall story club." Not a man to win a popularity contest with students or their parents. He has been busy giving a handout to Forgemasters one of the few manufacturing industries left in Sheffield. By coincidence, Sheffield is where Clegg has his constituency. It's also the home of thousands of students who can't wait for the "about turn" elections to come around so that they can go out and "about turn" their vote. Nick Clegg OBN was the leader who famously double whammied when he said to conference "Make no mistake about it, we are punching above our weight." Yep a right load of political lightweights.

LibDem Mascot
Margaret Cameron.
That leaves us with LibDem Mascot Margaret Cameron the woman who brought to parliament The Big Society as a justification for Guido Fawkes and the gunpowder plot.

I think it was George Orwell in 1984 who warned us against big societies. You can always guarantee that when Conservatives are in power, recessions and riots aren't far behind.

Margaret Cameron and her LibDem Cabinet partners were in a restaurant. When, Margaret Cameron loudly proclaimed "I'll have the steak." The waitress asked "And what about the vegetables?", Margaret replied: "Oh, they'll have the same as me."


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