A Briefs Encounter.

There is a lot of misinformation bandied around on the Internet about "Specialist Clubs." Where a "Brief Encounter" of the "Horizontal Mambo" type is the main aim.  Typical of this crazy claim to fame is the "Mile High Club." (Apparently its  a non club, in the real sense of club membership) Where the only criteria is that the person has had sexual encounter whilst flying as a passenger on a plane.  Perhaps the majority of the appeal of joining the MHC, is the thought of doing something taboo and the thrill of the risk of being discovered.

In 1999, two passengers of an American Airlines flight from Dallas to Manchester were arrested after engaging in "Horizontal Mambo" in front of other passengers in the business class section of the aircraft.  I bet that was some impressive in flight entertainment!

Not so long ago in 2006, a couple were arrested in another case that received widespread media attention. The couple claimed innocence and that the male was feeling sick and only resting his head on the woman's lap.

Richard Branson, the owner of Virgin Atlantic Airways and Virgin America Airways, claims to be a member of the mile high club. But you don't have to be an airline owner to join. Cabin staff have also connected up, so to speak. More recently in 2007 a Qantas flight attendant, was dismissed after having sex with an actor in business class. I suppose she would have only been given a good bollocking so to speak, if he had been sat in the plebs end of the plane.

But membership of this exclusive club has spread.  Membership now been updated to include people of a common orientation.  So now gay guys and gals are also eligible for membership. I would imagine that the cabin announcement "We are now cruising at an altitude of 25,000 feet" might cause some amusement on flights.

American pilot Bob Smith has a soaring sideline: helping couples join the "Mile High Club." For $299, he'll take a frisky twosome past 5,280 feet in a Piper Cherokee 6 fitted with a mattress.

When asked "Who goes on these flights" Smith said "Couples from 18 and 19 up to their 60s. I've taken between 75 and 100 in the last five years. It's a lot easier than getting in the bathroom of a 737."

When asked "Do men or women usually book the flights" Smith said "About 75% of the flights are booked by women. I've tried to figure that out, and I guess if the guy suggested it to a woman, he would be afraid she'd think he was some kind of pervert. But if the woman suggests it, the man thinks she's hot."

Now a new version of the club is doing the rounds. This time it is the "Three Foot Six High Club." Contrary to what you might think, this is not a club for people of a small stature. This is the mile high equivalent for railway journeys.  Apparently, the gauge of the rails is "three foot six inches" and so this lends its name to the club. I understand the underlying criteria for membership remains the same.

Error Correction "the standard railway gauge is 4ft. 8 1/2ins. 3ft. 6ins. is the set height of buffers and couplings above the track hence 3ft. 6ins high club. Thanks to Graham.

I remember travelling on the railways in my commuting days. I have fond memories of the over crowded carriages, with luggage piled up in the toilets so more people could sit on the racks. The chance of anyone getting much more than an unwanted sniff at a sweaty armpit was very limited.

One club with a watery theme is the "Nautical Mile Out Club" Having "Horizontal Mambo" on a ship that is more than one nautical mile out to sea. With once again a similar membership criteria to the mile high club. I wonder how many sailors have joined the nautical mile club. Which in a way brings us back to the "cruising" metaphor once again.

So I ask myself, is there an equivalent to the mile high club, but for the inland waterways. Maybe a "Seven Foot Ten Wide Club" I would be interested to find out if there is a different membership criteria if the toilet contains a cassette or pump out.

Remind me to tell you the story about when I joined the I.O.F.B. Club sometime.  I have the tie!

Later....