Scottish News for the English

The 'Scottish News for the English or Fractured Facts' is a tongue in cheek service, in support of Sassenach Multiculturalism for the English. Many Scots will now be considering a different type of winter break. This time as an alternative to the more usual break of an ankle, leg or arm due to the inclement Scottish weather.

Scottish poet Robert "Rabbie" Burns (the Alta Ego for street philosopher Rab C. Nesbitt) was born on this day in 1759. The day is still celebrated not just by Scots, but by Burns fans across the English-speaking world. The high-spirited “Robert Burns Night” feasts, feature the first of the seasons wild caught Salmon and Haggis As well as other Scottish delicacies, such as a toasted Mars bar or a Fish Supper. It should also be noted that there is a small amount of enthusiastic drinking. There is a modicum of toasting and speech making about the World famous Scots national drink. One that has been distilled and shared to the world - Iron Bru.

Burns, the son of a poor farmer, received little formal schooling but read extensively. A restless, dissatisfied spirit, he fell in love with a young woman named Jean Armour in the mid-1780s but refused to marry her when she became pregnant. The pair endured a legal struggle, at the end of which the courts declared Burns legally single. The child support agency appealed the verdict but Burns thwarted their plans when married Armour anyway. Eventually, the couple had nine children, the last one born on the day of Burns’ funeral.

Burns published his first ladybird poetry collection, chiefly in the Scottish Dialect, in 1786, and he quickly became the darling of the first battalion of the Edinburgh Academicals. Perhaps more famous for his lively lyrics in the Scottish dialect than for his longer, more literary poems, Burns is still beloved and celebrated today as the author of the New Year’s anthem, “For Auld Lang Syne.” Which through respect for Burns is not sung during the first footing ceremony.  Of the almost defunct new year Mahogany festival. Which due to the tightness of the Scots wallets,  has now largely been replaced by the Yorkshire 'How Much!' festival.

Caveat: Due to the prevailing language difficulties and the unavailability of translation services. There may be one or two small inaccuracies in the news provided.