I
do wish the various program providers for television, which is loosely
described as being entertainment. Would do us all a favour and 'cook
off.' I remember the days of the odd eccentric cook like Fanny Craddock
and her erstwhile monocled companion Johnny. If nothing else there was a
good 'double entendre' in the names. Then after a decent break
to allow a new generation to come along. Came the next version of
television chef Keith Floyd. A man who occasionally introduced wine into
the kitchen and also on rare occasions there was enough left over to
add to the cooking. Often filmed in something of a stupor through the
simple expedient of getting completely rat arsed. Then the avalanche of
cookery clowns started with Delia Smith. The bundle of fun in a hall of
mirrors that was Oz Clark and Silly Ghoulden.
Followed by a plethora of other clones. The two and three wheeled food terrorists. The
Hairy Bikers and the Two Fat Ladies. The clown prince of cookery who literately put crap into your food Heston Blumenthal and his Jamie Oliver who at least tried to kick the crap out of the food chain. Gregg
Wallace and John
Torode who did for entertainment what Cyril Smith did for hang gliding.
Plus the part time kleptomaniac, Anthony Worrall Thompson.
If
that was not enough further acts of vengeance were committed with the
introduction of the excitable king of crap Tom Kerridge the delightful Jane Asher, Ainsley Harriott, Gary Rhodes, Nigel Slater, James Martin, Rick Stein, Simon Rimmer,
Raymond Blanc, Valentine Warner, Rachel Allen, Anjum Anand, Hugh
Fearnley-Whittingstall and
the appropriately named Jo Pratt.
With the foul mouthed Gorgon Ramsay,
struting his stuff until we had a welcome break with the advent of the
thinking man's kitchen goddess. No, not octogenarian Mary Berry, but
Nigella Lawson and Lorraine Pascal. Now tis the season to be jolly - with the ladies getting their buns out for the lads.
By the way - don't eat yellow snow..
Merry Christmas and a very happy new year.
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