Thursday, 26 July 2012

Twisted Knickers!

The old mobile phone had reached the end of its serviceable life. It was about to be consigned to the drawer to languish away with a couple of others. So a new all singing and dancing version was purchased. Android seems to be the name of the game - a bit like the old Betamax -v- VHS wars from an earlier time.

I have had the phone now for about three weeks and I am learning a bit more about it each day. The built in GPS mapping - Weather and news - photographs and video - all need to be mastered in turn.

I spotted this application on Google which will help me to find my phone whenever I happen to misplace it. Having perfected the art of misplacement over many years (keys being a speciality) I decided that at 99p I could just about afford to splash out without compromising the bank balance. 

Then it happened - I misplaced my phone. 

A quick look around the boat in all the usual places did not turn up the device. Other lost keys locations identified over the years were checked - coat pockets (even if the coat had not been worn) plus the old regular for misplacement of keys - in a pocket in my jeans in the washing basket - failed to turn up the damn thing.

In a moment of lucid thought - I thought ring the phone. But I could not find my phone to ring it - twisted knickers logic - but I was getting a little fraught by this time. I know i'll send it a text. I start up the computer, put in the dongle and send a text to the phone. After a while, no phone was heard beeping in the boat.

If it isn't in the boat, its time to start racking the last few of the brain cells to try and remember the last time I had used it. I had spoke to the Memsahib on the phone. She was away in Sheffield, where was I when I rang her - yes! I was in the boat. Another boat search was needed but this time in a more organised way!

An hour or so later the phone was still missing - I even checked the dogs beds just in case they had thought it was a new toy! Nada, Zilch nothing! Have a walk around the boat yard retrace my steps from last night when I took the dogs for a walk.  Nada, Zilch nothing!  Into the boatyard office to ask if the phone had been handed in, Nada, Zilch nothing! Ah - Then I remembered that I had been in the showers last thing, Nada, Zilch nothing! But I did find my bar of soap that I had left!

Then I had a sudden brainwave - the answer, why had I not thought of this earlier! I can locate the phone by tracking it down on the web and getting it to ring. I fire up the trusty old steam computer. Login to the "Find-your-lost-phone-you-moron" website. Send a text with the activation code - da-da! - It's on the map and about a mile or so away from the boat? 

Then came the realisation, someone must have nicked it! The sleuth was on the job. Taking the laptop I follow the map towards the phone. It's a route along the towpath, that I have been over before. Half an hour later - I'm in the field where I took the dogs for a walk late yesterday afternoon.

I had been so busy looking at butterflies and birds that I had stumbled over a rock and almost went full length. After regaining my composure - and then doing that "quick look around to see if anyone had seen me thing" - and getting that good "no one has seen me feelingI had returned to the boat.  

But now, I am stood in the middle of a field and I could not see the phone anywhere. The grass is quite long. So I sent the activation code from the laptop to make the phone ring! - A few seconds later the tones could be heard about three feet away to my left. There is the missing phone cocooned deep in the grass. A quick check - only one message received - the text I had sent from the laptop.

I was overjoyed to be reunited with my little friend. The phone rang - its the Memsahib. A very tentative "hello love" is soon followed by the reassurance "yes we are all fine. I'm just taking the dogs for a walk. Ah! your back in Birmingham - and on the bus back to the boat. Yes, I'll see you soon - I will come and meet you at the bus stop!"

Quick dash back to the boat to hide the evidence - Well most people would not turn up at a bus stop complete with two dogs out for a short walk with a laptop under their arm! 

All is well in the world and the boxers are quite a comfortable fit once more!



  1. Sounds like a good product, what is the programme called so I can download it onto mine

  2. By some quirk of chance - the program is called "Find my Phone" and can be downloaded from Google Play.

  3. Greetings Inspector Clouseau,

    Et es nut thee efurt, bet, the end rasolt thet mutteers.

    Congritulotions, thees liptap, es a pot? Like a dug or a Kit, no??

    I hev a smut fone, is called Bub.

    Rugrids frem Heth Marple


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